Grocery Stores and “PC” Holidays

The grocery store…..a necessary evil.  Well, unless you end up growing your own food and live in a little house the size of a shoebox in some remote part of the world equipped with solar power and composting toilet (or whatever converts crap to something non-toxic without the use of modern conveniences ).  That’s something Elizabeth would LOVE by the way.

Elizabeth is more than welcome to stick one of these on the back forty of my mansion….if I ever get a mansion.

Look…I know you’re short sighted, hind sighted..something, but could you move the hell out of the way?

Now, generally, when I’m forced to go into one of these gross-ery stores, I’m in a hurry.  I want in and out before I loose any more brain cells.  It never fails.  There are these people…yes, I’m talking to you.  You know you do it…don’t try to deny it.  These people that insist on standing on the opposite side of the aisle from what they’re looking at. That would normally be fine, except that these people almost always pick the one moment that I’m trying to get past them to leave their shopping cart on the opposite side and step across to get whatever it was they were after, thereby blocking the whole damned aisle while they read lables.

Look, label readers…sure saved a lot there, didn’t you?

 

Honestly, I’ve never spent a lot of time reading labels.  It’s all bad for you anyway.  Just eat it.  In another few years yet another study will show that it’s actually good for you.  A few cents difference isn’t going to break you either.

Make a list..because sometimes it’s hard to remember that baby needs beers and wines.

 

 

 

 

I also generally have a very good idea of what I’m looking for at the store.  My suggestion to those of you who have trouble making up your mind or just wander around aimlessly trying to remember what it was you came after in the first place is MAKE A DAMNED LIST.  It’s really helpful.  Just a public service announcement from yours truly.

Just..just move.

A couple of other things people should consider.  Quit with the family reunions in the middle of the store.  They have parks and convention centers and things like that if you just want to sit around and talk.  The middle of the aisle is NOT the place for it.  Please, I want out of here…just go.  And, speaking of sitting in the wrong spot, don’t leave the store and then immediately stop right outside of the exit.  Good grief people.

 

 

 

Happy Mothers Day…now, please stop.

I’m telling you…my IQ drops when I walk into one of these places.  It gets worse around the holidays.  ANY holiday.  It’s Mother’s Day today and that was insane.  It looked like a bunch of looters following a riot. #floristslivesmatter  Look, people…don’t try to wait until the last second for flowers for mom.  It’s too late.  Give it up.  Just stop.

She’s not all that great..she raised a moron.  The best you can try to do is break the cycle at this point.  I mean, you might be a freak of nature but, chances are, it’s genetic.

 

 

 

 

There’s something about holidays in general that bug me.  It’s gotten ridiculous.  Everybody (but me, evidently) is so afraid of offending someone that you can’t even enjoy a holiday.  Take, for instance, “Happy Holidays”.  There are quite a few people that get their panties in a wad over this.  Guess what?  There are a whole bunch of holidays during that time of year.  Sounds appropriate to me.  It’s not some diabolical plot to undermine Christianity.  More of an effort not to exclude anyone.  Having said that, I was in Lowe’s a couple of years back and noticed them selling “Holiday Trees”.  What the hell is a holiday tree?  Really?  How many other holidays use a tree?  Call it what it is.

 

This whole PC thing is getting out of hand. I understand schools are now having “Friendship parties” instead of doing the whole Valentine’s Day thing.  What’s next?  Easter will probably turn into Colored Egg Appreciation Day, Halloween is more or less Fall Festivals and whatnot.  We’ll have to stop having Independence Day because it offends one group or another.  OK…OK….I’m done, I guess.  I’m a little rusty since I haven’t updated here for a few years.  Oh, you can be sure there’s more to come.

Now, get out of my way.